Reclaim the bed

There comes a point in most everyone’s life where their bed at home is sized to comfortably fit two people, but for one reason or another there is this span of time—it could be a couple of weeks, months or the majority of nights over a couple of years—wherein they sleep in it alone.

If you enter the stage of having such a bed while in a relationship and you start getting used to the bigger bed while sleeping with someone next to you, chances are you’ll likely be sleeping on whatever side you started out with whenever you sleep in it alone. If you entered that stage while sleeping alone, you may be more inclined to dominate the center of the bed all by yourself. If, in case of the latter, you let pets sleep on your bed with you, they may finagle their way onto the center area and strategically urge you towards a side over time.

Now, hold on to that thought for a bit.

Sometimes in life, things don’t go swimmingly. In fact, if my experience is anything to go by, it is much more accurate to say that every so often, for a certain period of time, things will not go very well for you. There may be stress, there may be sickness, a depression—a million and one ways exist to make matters just a tad bit worse for you. It’s easy to start feeling like you’re barely afloat on a raft in the midst of a turbulent storm at sea.

In some situations, like it has been for me, the cause of all the woe in your life is more alien than domestic, by which I mean the reasons behind it all exist primarily in the parts of your life you don’t control, and not the parts you do. Being laid off from work during the recent economic hardships ailing so many companies all around; a relationship ending; friendships fading or tearing apart over differences—or distance: so much of what makes your life your life is, ironically, not in your hands. And now these things are having a significant impact on your life nonetheless.

That’s when you need to change things.

There are two principal ways of going through life: controlling it, and not controlling it. I believe that every single person on this planet has at least a rudimentary power to control their own life and steer it in whatever direction they set their mind to.

Even for those who are skilled and capable of controlling their own lives to the fullest imaginable extent possible, it is easy to lose that control and get lost in the moment. Things go well for some time, then they go even better, then you’re on top of the world…and suddenly it crumbles right before your eyes.

The tricky thing about life is that by its very nature, it is best lived. But do you notice the passive connotation there? The very nature implies that life leads you by its hand, takes you on a journey and shows you ’round the world.

Utter bollocks, as my British friends would say.

Life is the thing that you drive, that you lead; life is the journey you go on and you show yourself what life has to offer you. It sounds simple and it is, but it’s equally simple to fall into the trap where you allow life to dictate things about you instead.

Taking control of your own life is a scary thing, which makes it perhaps even easier to let life lead you than the other way around. But if you find yourself in a situation where something is itching in the back of your mind, something is telling you that there’s reasons behind certain dissatisfaction or unhappiness but you can’t quite put your finger on it, and a strong introspective look at your life indicates that perhaps things that are out of your control are playing a more significant role in your life than they should be, it might be time for you to take back control of all the things in your life again.

It might be time for you to take back that center spot and reclaim the bed. Even if just as a metaphor.

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