MacHeist: To Sum Up

function MacHeist(developer, product, customer) {
	if (developer == "Held at gunpoint, made to include product") {
		return ('pity' || 'outrage');
	} else if (product == "appealing") {
		return customer+1;
	}
	return;
}

Forgive the JavaScript, but Objective-C was a bit too verbose for this.

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